The Naming of Lucien

Naming a child is always a challenge.  It involves months of debate and reviewing long lists of names.  There are fights with family members and long discussions.  Usually, this is not a very haunting process.  It can be tedious, but rarely haunting.  When you find that perfect name,  it is like a revelation.    The name feels right.   When we named our son, Lucien, we went through all these things and I felt that moment of revelation while I laid in my bed listening to my husband recite names from some Internet site about naming your child.  Lucien was right and I couldn't say why.  My husband and I were set.  The name spoke to us.  Everyone else thought the name was odd.    Many people said we were weird for choosing it, but the name called to us and it was ours and there was no changing it.

Those of you who have followed my blog for a long time know that my mother-in- law died over a year ago.  Since that time, we have felt haunted by her.   It isn't a negative haunting.   We just feel her sometimes.   Shadows move and the children hear her calling their names.  There are quiet whispers in the dark.   My mother-in-law was French and she died in France.  We keep her ashes on our fireplace.  Some time after we decided on naming Lucien, we cleaned out some old things and found my mother-in-law's favorite movie with her favorite name in it.    I had never heard of the movie before and my husband had completely forgotten about it.    The movie was Lacombe Lucien.   So, as I hold my little boy in my arms, I can't help but wonder if it wasn't her ghost whispering in our ear as we named our little boy.   I have to wonder if she didn't find a way of making sure her last grandson would know her even if he never knew her.