I've read several articles recently regarding marriage; apparently it's all the craze to think nowadays that marriage is antiquated and a broken institution. Stars have been quoted as saying so, so it must be right, right guys? The newly divorced Scarlett Johansson possibly foreshadowed her tragic breakup with the delicious Ryan Reynolds a couple years ago when she discussed how people were not inherently monogamous animals and it was ridiculous to think we should be. Brad Pitt and the
OH THE CRAZINESS!!!! WHERE TO START, PEOPLE? WHERE TO START............
Let's define marriage for a second. It's not a wedding; it's not necessarily a religious gesture; it's not even about the damn benefits that are associated with the institution. Hell, it's not even a damn institution. IT'S A COMMITMENT. The biggest problem I've seen nowadays is that people approach the subject of marriage as something that is tenuous at best--if it doesn't work out, we can always get a divorce. People view it like a dinner you buy at a restaurant that you can send back if you don't like how it tastes. People go to Vegas to get hitched; they marry after two months of dating; they sometimes have shotgun weddings; and sometimes, they do it because they have been together so long that it seems to be the logical thing to do.
Let me clarify: those reasons all suck ass. If you are going to get married because you are drunk in Vegas, then you should walk in front of a train. Seriously. Just do it and save us the future ramifications of all your bad decisions you will almost certainly be making. If you get married because you're too damn chickenshit to hurt someone's feelings, you are failing at life. If you get married for ANY REASON other than wanting to spend a lifetime committed to one other human being, a decision upon which you've reflected, and which you understand comes with the good and the bad, then you ARE THE PROBLEM WITH THE "INSTITUTION" OF MARRIAGE. It ain't marriage that's broke, it's the fucktards that are arbitrarily getting married that have fucked over this system beyond recognition.
Understand I don't premise these harsh statements based upon my religious beliefs (or lack thereof for that matter). It's good common sense and a sense of self-preservation that leads me to make these judgments. I also don't think divorce should never be utilized (I am a future lawyer after all)--but at the same time, it shouldn't be the option to your marriage not working. It should be an option after counseling, after trying, and after talking to your spouse. It shouldn't be your safety hatch. It shouldn't be your "out." It shouldn't be the norm!
Case in point: when I was younger and dating an asshole for a long while, a lot of people asked me when I was getting married. I was 21, but again, I'm from the south, where you're considered an old maid at the tender age of 23. I actually had a girl ask me when I was getting married, and when I told her I wanted to graduate from undergrad, then law school, and get a job before I ever considered marriage, she asked me whether I wanted to have kids. Me: your ovaries don't fall off at 26!!!!!!!!!!!! (This is an entirely different problem, but I'm not going to go there right now.) I seemed opposed to marriage, and even got a comment from the asshole at the time about how I was "fundamentally opposed to marriage." CLARIFICATION: I was opposed to marriage with him. Yes, I stayed in the relationship because I was lazy and because it was easier than "hurting his feelings" (aka: chickenshit), but there was no fucking way in hell I was marrying the dude. Self-preservation, y'all.
And now, I'm in an amazing relationship with Leonidas. I do think about marriage now, but when I imagine it, it's not the wedding I'm considering: it's the commitment. He's someone I'm willing to be committed to: I don't want him to change (girls, if you want a guy to change, dump him, because he ain't gonna and you're wasting your time trying), his good habits outweigh his bad, we always have something to talk about, we're committed to each other, and, oh yeah, we love each other and don't want to be with anyone else. (This means ever, you asshole cheater Arnold types that apparently thinks marriage equates to someone having to have sex with you and sex with other people when your spouse doesn't oblige.)
So Eva, I'm not sure how being someone's wife makes you unsexy, but okay. Cameron, the traditions of marriage seem to be right on point: marry someone you love and want to be with the rest of your life, don't fuck around with someone else, and maintain mutual respect for your spouse while continuing to grow in your relationship. Those seem to be pretty fucking good traditions. Goldie, thinking about how you could leave doesn't keep things fresh--it keeps things uncertain. You can leave if you're married; you can leave if you are not. I don't see how a certificate of marriage makes the difference. Angelina Jolie: you can bite me, you husband-stealing, brother-frenching jerk. And Scarlett, I'm not sure if you or Ryan had a problem with monogamy or not, but for God's sake, if you can't be monogamous with Ryan Renolds and his eight abs and seemingly sweet personality, then maybe you should phone Charlie Sheen and get some advice about dealing with sexual addiction (winning).
All joking aside, I'm conservative in my views on marriage. I don't think people should rush, I don't think they should consider divorce as a reasonable alternative if things aren't all sunshine and roses all the time, and I don't think most people give marriage due consideration before jumping into it headfirst. Perhaps if we did, people wouldn't say it was broken. Perhaps if we would consider our future with that person, rather than the present time, our divorce rate would be lower. Perhaps if people stopped equating marriage with an integral chapter in one's life, they would allow it to happen rather than forcing it to.
Or perhaps I'm a little old-fashioned. Regardless, I'd rather stay out of divorce court, thank you very much.
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