Zainab Lawyer

Dear Counsel,

Good day to you and thank you for your response to my inquiry. The previous email I sent you contacting your firm was regards to a post dissolution case with my ex husband Newberg Hamasaki who resides in your jurisdiction. Currently am living in South Korea for a field assignment (working on my thesis). I tried calling a couple of times but couldn’t get you as I have poor connection were I am based, and with the time difference (+13hrs EST) it is a little bit difficult to gauge the best time to reach you. I would appreciate if you can provide your cell number for effective communication. My ex husband and I agreed under this agreement for a one time cash settlement of $950,500.00, to his credit he has paid me $251,500.00 but still owing $699,000.00. I agreed to the terms of the agreement which is well within what Newberg can pay conveniently because I didn’t want the troubles of a long trial and so that we could part ways in the best way for all it was worth.


I am hereby seeking your firm’s assistance in collecting the balance from him and it is my belief that a Law firm like yours is needed to help me collect/enforce payment from my ex-husband or litigate this matter if he fails to pay as promised. He is aware of my intention to seek legal actions. I will be pleased to provide further information on this matter on request. I expect this to be a non-litigation matter. I have already advised him I am planning on retaining your firm. If you are happy to proceed, kindly send me a copy of your retainer and if the terms are acceptable I will sign so we can commence the process without delay

Thank you and have a pleasant day.

Regards,

Zainab Hamasaki
Address: 2F, Sekwang Bldg, 364 Galsan-dong, Seondong-Gu, Seoul 133-040
Cell- 0082-31-656 7883
+82-2-757-3969

The power of a flowchart....

Something I've learned through my (limited) experience with the study of law is that, ultimately, you're going in a big circle. Generally, my first assessments are typically right, although it's not for the right reasons. While this is okay in undergrad, it doesn't carry over really well on law school exams, because you are supposed to actually support your argument with a rational foundation (although this seems to be in short supply all around). So typically, my thought process goes something like this:

...............................YEAH................


As you can see, it's an arduous process. It would probably save a lot of time, energy, and hair if I did this instead:

Old Bryce Hospital for the Insane

Alabama Hospital for the Insane was designed to be a refuge for the mentally ill.  Its architecture was designed based on the ideas of Dorothea Dix and Thomas Story Kirkbride.  It was meant o be moral architecture that would contribute tot he healing process within the hospital   The hospital opened in 1861 and for a while it held to the ideals of Dix and Kirkbride.  The first superintendent, Peter Bryce, was an idealist and he had studied mental health in Europe.  He believed that patients should be treated with respect kindness.  He even abandoned the use of restraints.  The hospital was later named for Bryce and it went on to be the model for progressive mental health care.

Time quickly eroded Bryce' legacy, however.  By 1967, there were more than 5200 patients residing in a facility that was never meant to hold that many.  Observers described Bryce as a concentration camp and a model for human cruelty.  In 1970, one patient named Wyatt started a class action law suit against the Alabama's other mental hospital, Searcy State Hospital.  This lead to major change in the way the mentally ill were treated in Alabama.  The number of beds were cut drastically and humane treatment of the mentally ill became an absolute necessity.  The landmark Wyatt v. Strickney Casee would change Bryce drastically. Old Bryce was the African American portion of Bryce Hospital and was notorious for being even more cruel than its white counterpart.  After Wyatt v. Strickey and desegregation, Old Bryce was shut down entirely and other buildings were used.  The African American patients were integrated into the white population.  

Old Bryce still sits quietly deserted, however, as a reminder to the old days when patients were held like prisoners with no rights.   It is covered in graffiti and has been vandalized many times.  Its even been set on fire.  Trespassing is forbidden here, but the curious have reported seeing all manner of horrors coming out of the dark around Old Bryce.  Lights flicker on an off in the building that has no electricity.  Phones ring in rooms with no phones.  Phantom lights drift from room to room. Furniture moves on its own and footsteps echo through the abandoned hallways.  The living patients may be gone, but many believe Old Bryce is still filled with the ghosts of those who once suffered in its walls.

Sometimes, I just like to gloat....

I've got a few other blog entries in the works (mostly bemoaning how much lawyers that make me read shit on subjects they've mangled beyond human recognition SUCK), but I figured y'all could do with an update (I would have done it last night, but I went to bed at 10:00 like a geriatric lady). My summer goes something like this:

May: BUSY BUSY BUSY--no time to think; no time to relax; no time to play.
June: BUSIER BUSIER BUSIER--got to finish work; have a big event I have to go to; no time for vacay.
July: DEAD DEAD DEAD--this is the month I really need to find a job for the rest of the summer, lest I sit around on my ass eating hohos and watching reruns of Glee (which at this very moment, sounds like heaven) for the rest of the summer. I've got a wedding in New Orleans to attend (whoop whoop), a vacation to possibly plan, and a crazy family to attend to (and by attend to, I mean leach on for a little while and benefit from their craziness in such a way that finishing law school doesn't seem quite so bad).

August, I'm planning for school to start, getting some volunteering in, and by God, I've GOT to network so I may potentially have a job after my 3L year. No more fucking around--I needs to make some monies. I don't need lots of monies....just some. Pleaze? (I will start talking in lol catz if need be to get a damnable job.)

Other than this, I'm assessing different blog subjects to address in my limited experience with the law. Mostly it consists of bitching (which seems to be the norm), worries about the economy (check out the bitter lawyer's blog to see how common this one is), and sheer idiocy because I love the law and my current job (this is not common, and even though I hate some of the idiot briefs I read and have lawyer's necks I want to wring, the people here are awesome, the workload is manageable, and I'M LEARNING HOW TO BE A LAWYER, Y'ALL!).

I guess, in a nutshell, I can say I'm enjoying life. I like getting up at the buttcrack of dawn, playing with my dogs (who I shall now call Crackers), packing my lunch and gym bag, and being an ADULT! It's neato, without the pressure of actually making money (thanks Danny and Maxine!).

Yep. Life's pretty awesome right now.

A few of my favorite things....(and no, it's not raindrops on roses and kittens' whiskers, you pansy)

I have a few favorite things I like to do when I have the time. Few of these are healthy, since it's my firm belief that if you are exercising and are NOT miserable, you apparently are not doing it correctly. This top five blog will not include spending time with my friends and family, because that's way too obvious (for the record, I love doing this, but this post is not about the obvious things I like to do....).

Much like my brother Cyd, I definitely include sleeping in my top five. I love to sleep. I also use sleeping as a defense mechanism; that is to say, I sleep when I’m sick, I sleep when I’m pissed off, and I sleep when I’m sad (no emotional eating for me…I only eat when I’m bored or have nothing else better to do). Last night, I fell asleep at 10:00. (Refer to my post re: my conversation with Maxine about being an old lady.) If you read my blog, you’ll notice that sleeping is a common theme. So is being pissed off about people’s incompetence (to which I rant and rave…then sleep). Another common theme is frustration with law school (to which I sleep…FORGET READING!). Sleep…it’s the answer for just about anything.

I'm good at sleeping, y'all. I can literally lay down and go to sleep in less than two minutes. Maxine is convinced I've got narcolepsy. Still, sleeping isn't always the best for Fidget here....I have a tendency to doze off at the wheel of my car, to hibernate when there is bad weather (like that one winter my sophomore year of college), and when I don't sleep...well, I turn into a raging bitch from hell.

Another on my top five list of things to do is eat. Remember above how I said I'm not an emotional eater? Well, I'm not. I'm a compulsive eater. This is probably only a negative thing, although I'm sure I could find some positives about it if I looked hard enough. Leonidas likes to grumble about my eating views (my eating views, for those that do not know, consist of living to eat. Leon prefers to eat to live....the snob). Yes, this one cupcake tastes delicious. You know what would taste even more delicious? TEN MORE CUPCAKES!!!!!!!! Nom nom nom.....

Unfortunately, I do not get to eat nearly as much as I would like to. If I had my choice, I would probably be six hundred pounds, bedridden, and in a permanent diabetic coma (oh wow, I just combined TWO of my favorite things). Since I do not allow myself to eat everything in sight, I chose when to blow my calories....chili? No thanks. Chocolate cake? Yes, please. Eating out? Not really. Big homemade platter of ribs? DOUBLE YES. Not eating everything in sight is an exercise of willpower, which I've finally kinda gotten a handle over, although there are times when the fat kid in me comes out and hoards a homemade cookie (notice a theme? I don't really care for prepackaged--it's the stuff made with love I can't resist. I NEED LOVE!!!).

Something else I have always loved to do (when I have time, mind you) is read. Good demonstration: Leonidas and I were talking the other day about going out. The conversation that ensued went something like this:

Leonidas: You should go out some this summer. You can call a few people and get to know the town.

Ms. Dr. J: I don't really go out, Leonidas. I like to stay in. I like to sleep. I've never even been to a bar in my hometown.

Leonidas: You've been to bars in _________ (college town). And here!

Ms. Dr. J: Yeah, but I don't just love going. I like grabbing margaritas in restaurants, not playing beer pong in a bar.

Leonidas: You've NEVER been to a bar in your hometown?

Ms. Dr. J: I have owned library cards in every town I've lived in. That's the kind of person I am. I have LIBRARY CARDS.

Leonidas: Maxine was right.

Ever since I was little, I've been this kind of person. I love to read. I am really bad at remembering to bring library books back, but by God, I consider library fines my contribution to the community. My mom thinks my voracious reading is what rendered me partially blind. I used to get in trouble in elementary school for reading at my desk. My dad is convinced I will eat anything put in front of me if I'm reading a book (which may or may not be true). Reading is cool! Don't judge me. (Disclaimer: I am talking about any kind of book other than the legal casebook kind, unless the legal casebook kind involves something ridiculous and resolves itself in the way I think it should have, and the judge writing the opinion does so in a bitingly sarcastic and witty manner.)

Finally, the last thing I like to do when I have time (remember, I'm only really doing four, because the whole family and friends thing comes first on my list. {Y'ALL HEAR THAT? YOU'RE FIRST. Leave me along already!}) is spend money. I'm not talking about on stuff like clothing (for the most part, because I'm pretty lazy and don't want to try a lot of shit on)--I'm talking shoes, jewelry, accessories, real estate, and in places that have dirt cheap prices like TJ Maxx and Ross Dress for Less. Unfortunately, I can never do this. GIRL IS BROKE. I'm talking snake that got run through the lawnmower broke. One day, when I'm a super mildly successful attorney, maybe I'll get to spend money, but for the time being, I guess it's more apt to say another favorite thing of mine to do is to daydream about spending money.

So there I am, in a nutshell. I obviously like to spend time with my friends and family (but who doesn't, unless you're a psychopath or have psychopathic family, although it's your own fault if your friends are psychopaths). But in the meantime, I also like to sleep, eat, read, and daydream about spending money. I'm like a human parasite.

That has a ring to it: Fidget....the human parasite. (After all, one day, I will be a lawyer....ba dum cha.)

100 Stories For Queensland

100 Stories will be released in paperback on Tuesday 17th May as part of an Amazon Chart Rush.



Readers are invited to purchase the book from Amazon on the day with the intent to capitalise on the volume of sales to move the book up the Amazon best seller list.



The book retails online for £9.99 and is listed here at Amazon.

Welcome to my life (or: how even oldies are NOT always goldies)

Tonight, I had to prepare some paperwork for an important deadline. This paperwork HAS TO BE IN TOMORROW (with a postmark and everything). It's kinda a BFD. Accordingly, I waited until the last damn minute to do it (procrastination at its finest, y'all). So when I finally decided to get down to it, I realized oh shit....I'm not sure what kind of technology I'll be using (I generally use my own, but since I needed a printer, I'd have to borrow the whole kit and kaboodle). Not a big deal, right? HA.

So I went downstairs, and was greeted by this guy:

While this seems relatively harmless and docile, it's actually a RELIC. Many computers nowadays consist of something like this--except the entirety of the computer is actually contained WITHIN this component, instead of just serving as the screen (which went obsolete about, oh say, ten years ago). Monitors you can deal with, however. I was relieved to turn to the side and see this:

Don't let the windows sticker or USB drives fool you like they did me, though. Those are just for show. In actuality, this computer does NOT have Microsoft Word (or Works, or even Open Office, for those of us too cheap to purchase the real deal). And those USB drives? THEY.DON'T.WORK. I only figured this out, though, after repeatedly trying to access the internet. I might as well have been trying to teach a monkey the theory of relativity (and I would have probably had more success with the monkey). After spending over 45 minutes trying to enter my email and look at my documents in Word while online, I finally gave up and looked for my external hard drive. That's how I found out the awesome window dressings on the front of the tower were just for show. Way to go, HP guys! What a great trick you played on me! (If I could, I would hunt you down and bludgeon you to death. Just so you know.) So after I finally found a USB jack I could effectively plug my external into, I made the mistake of peeking at the printer.

Yep, folks. THAT'S THE ICING ON MY CAKE. Welcome to 1992. After gritting and gnashing my teeth, pulling out some of my hair, cursing every person to ever work at HP (and their nearest blood relatives), and threatening to end.that.tower....I was greeted by the slowest printer ON EARTH.

Seven pages.

Thirty minutes.

And another crack in my sanity.

Pretty sure technology isn't the only thing that hates me.