Recommending A Fellow Blogger

Frances Garrood very kindly sent me a copy of her second (I think) novel called 'The Birds, The Bees and Other Secrets'. It's really a woman's book I suppose but I don't mind admitting I read my wife's Jill Mansells and, of course, I have to research women's mags. It was an enjoyable read and should appeal to anyone who likes quirky characters. Because this is definitely a character-led story and I wanted to keep reading to find out what happens to them all. Some of the people in the story aren't even given proper names and even the various dogs that appear have their own eccentricities.

If you get a chance, please get hold of a copy of this book. I promise you won't be disappointed. You can't have mine because it has Frances' autograph in it.

Spirit Cabinets

In the late 19th century and the early 20th century that was a movement known as the spiritualist movement.  I have written about the spiritualist movement before and those of you who know the paranormal well are probably very familiar with it.  During this time their was an explosion in interest in the supernatural in general.  Mediums and explorers of the otherworldly were everywhere having seances and trying to connect with the other side.  Well known people like Sir Arthur Conan Doyle endorsed the movement.  

A spirit cabinet is one of the many tools that was designed to aid mediums and spiritualist during this time period.  The cabinet was a tool inspired by an audience member viewing a medium.  At the time, mediums put on quite show.  They summoned spirits and made objects move.  Lights flashed, ectoplasm was spewed forth in a dazzling proof that ghosts were among us.  One audience member was skeptical and indicated that mediums could be using the same slight of hand a magician uses to produce such affects.  They said the medium should be bound in a box so they couldn't use slight of hand.

The spirit cabinet was made to accomplish this.  During a seance, a medium was bound in the locked cabinet.  Once bound within the cabinet, the medium would produce an even more amazing show.  Music and light would come from the box. Sometimes ghosts hands would creep out of cracks and crevices.

Of course, in reality, the spirit cabinet made it even easier for the many fraudulent mediums of the time to fake spiritual encounters. Once locked in the box, they could easily escape their bindings and use their hands to manufacture ghostly phenomena.  All they had to do was creep back into their bindings to convince the audience that ghosts had filled the room with the paranormal rather than them.     Sometimes spirit cabinets were little more than a curtain with a chair behind it that the medium hid behind.  

The cabinets many flaws were exposed by stage magicians like Houdini who showed how easy it is to fake the ghostly phenomena from behind a curtain.   This was one of the many nails in the spiritualist coffin that proved that most mediums were frauds and that ghosts didn't move furniture or play music on demand.

There once was a girl from law school...

A girl with law exams back to back,

Was decisively starting to crack.

The moment arose--

her computer froze,

That's what she gets for using a Mac.

One of my professors wanted our class to come up with limericks for Wills, Trusts, and Estates cases. Suffice to say, I find it hard enough to read any cases, so I didn't jump on that particular bandwagon. Additionally, limericks are supposed to be entertaining and the only way you could make that class interesting would be to conduct it in a Jerry Springer format (c'mon, don't tell me the subject isn't just ripe with potential for chanting, personal comments into the "microphone," and the occasional (simulated) bitch slap). This got me to thinking: what if I were to write limericks all the time? (To answer that question: I would probably be considered far more annoying than I already am viewed and eventually be stoned by a large group of people with a mob mentality and an unquenchable taste for blood--although I suppose I wouldn't be considered as annoying/pretentious as someone who went around composing haikus all the time.)

Take the above, for example: I love my PC. I'm not quite sure what all the hullabaloo is about Macs. They don't have a right-click buttons, they need special software to be compatible to anything remotely cool out there, and they've essentially ripped off Lenix, smacked an apple logo on it, and labeled it "trendy." Sure, they may not be any worse than PCs....but they certainly aren't superior. (And you're paying mondo mucho buckeroos for that free operating system and picture of an apple.) I wouldn't wish this on anyone...but it sure would be fun to watch (refer to my post regarding my relationship with technology--I frequently am that girl...why can't I wish it on someone else for a change??)....

Or how about a limerick for how I feel right now, which cannot be described with any good adjectives like funny, witty, or even alive (okay, alive isn't an adjective, but you get my point)....

I once went two days without sleep,

after weeks of minimal upkeep.

I decided to waive

any chance of a shave,

in exchange for counting some sheep. 

I'm pretty sure that's self-explanatory. I'm exhausted. I've had about five hours of rest in the past sixty hours. I'm to a point where I get halfway through a thought and completely lose it. I can't even focus on what people are saying. I resorted to caffeine for a perk (not my cup of tea, so to speak). No more. Now, I get to relax in my wonderfully comfortable bed with brand new clean sheets and a chance to finally recharge. 

Oh yeah, and law school exams are over. Unfortunately, the cruel evidence of the harrowing two weeks remains...glaring at me (and others) like two accusing caterpillars sitting on my face. 

 To the students whose exams go on...

I hope you have shittons* of fun.

For me, I'll be snoring,

 In my bed. Have fun poring

Over books. I'm offically done... 

(Bitches)

*pronounced to rhyme with "kitten"

GOOD NIGHT!

Ikeda Tools Lawyer

Hello

I am Mr. Bishamon Chokichi the director of Ikeda Tools Co, Ltd Japan we
are looking for a service of an attorney to stand as intermeddle to
receive payment on be that half our company.

As you know since the earth quake in my country we are still trying to
stand as a company so we need your assist to collect payment from our
customers and in every payment you have your percentage.

Please if you are willing to assist our company do contact me with the
email below for more details. (ikedatools@yahoo.com.hk)


Best regard

Mr. Bishamon Chokichi

Ikeda Tools Co Ltd
1372-2 Ohishi, Fuji-kawaguchiko-machi Yamanashi, Japan

Bad timekeeping can get you fired in the big leagues....WHY NOT IN LAW SCHOOL?

Let me preface this with saying that I have NEVER EVER EVER left a law exam crying. I wouldn't have today either....except for something that I consider so fundamentally unfair and stupid, I couldn't help but be upset and pissed at my own helplessness. Let me also preface this with saying I didn't let anyone see me cry....because that's lame and not conducive to my awesome rep.

With that said.....let me explain the circumstances. I was taking a 50 question multiple choice law school final today. I stayed up a good portion of the night studying for this, and I felt reasonably prepared for the material. I'm not going to say I'm a pro at the information, but I certainly am not retarded in this particular area of the law (and by God, I can qualify just about anything to suit my purposes). I went through the exam marking the ones I knew, the ones I was confused about, and the ones where I might as well have just marked "C" for because I had no fucking idea.

Our administrator, whom I will now call "Beverly" (Bev for short), sat at the front of the room. Our clock...in a chair (presumably where everyone could see it). I like to see the clock. I don't own a watch and we cannot consult our cell phones (or at least, I don't because of the appearance of impropriety and the possible narcs in our class because, oh yeah, our classmates most assuredly sucks balls). So I'm going through my exam...

Two hours left.

One hour left.

30 minutes left.

15 minutes left. ::Bev picks up the clock and puts it in her lap::

WAIT....WHAT?

I now cannot see the clock. I have no idea how much time I have left. I do not have a watch with which to check time because they provide you with a clock FOR A REASON. Surely she will count us down right?

Bev calls ten minutes.

Bev calls five minutes.

(Working feverishly at this point....a few more to go, and I can guess on the remainders, right?)

WRONG: TIME.

No fucking minute warning. No 30 second warning. Jack diddly shit.

I didn't mind the content. I did, however, mind the fact that I didn't complete FOUR of the answers because I was unaware I had approximately five.seconds.left. Four...out of 50. Which is almost 10% of the exam's overall score. Which I had approximately a 50% chance of getting right (I had narrowed each down to two possible answers).

This translates into FOUR points off my entire grade. Because this lady decided to put the fucking clock in her lap. If you are going to completely deny me the opportunity to know how much time is left, please count down at least the minute mark. Fuck you, Bev. The worst part is I'm sure beyond a reasonable doubt that my reporting this would have no impact on the outcome of my final, testing procedures for the future, or allow me to fill in those fucking blanks.

So yeah....my day=complete fail. Another test tomorrow.

Which means I can't even drown my sorrows in a barrel of tequila.

Maybe I can just drown myself in the barrel instead.

I'm a bad influence

A friend of mine who I've keyed into my super secret identity has decided to spend some of his valuable time procrastinating, and just upgraded my banner at the top of the page. Apparently, his pen is way cooler than mine (and I have to admit his lines are cleaner). To add insult to injury, he used a free program. So, Mr. Z (as I shall call him): thank you.

As an aside to break up the whole studying thing, apparently technology has gone one more step to show its undying hatred for me: the hard drive recommended to me by the technology guys at my school is for DESKTOPS. Mr. Technology Guy, you are hereby demoted to my shit list. Not only am I out $45, but I'm also forced to look at a hard drive that is thicker than the WHOLE of my computer (because I can't just throw away the hard drive). (And I'm not the idiot here--I still have the print off showing the EXACT same hard drive I'm currently staring at.)

It's time for a run for supplies. I'm running low on the necessaries (no, not the "law school" necessaries of booze and cigarettes--the "gamer-friendly" necessaries of cheetos, gatoraid, and "5 hour energy").

So for the time being, may the force be with ME, and may you have more success at life than I currently am....

Death's Dream Kingdom Free Kindle Give Away Contest!

I have been trapped in a disaster area since last Wednesday when the first tornado sirens went off.  Since that time,  I have been stuck in the dark and  lost away from computers and modern conveniences.   I got my power back last night and that is cause to celebrate and when my computer came back on I realized that my novel, Death's Dream Kingdom has been released.  This gives me double cause to celebrate!

To celebrate Death's Dream Kingdom,  I am going to give away a kindle.  Death's Dream Kingdom  has been released first on kindle and won't be out in other formats until November, so it is time for me to celebrate the kindle by giving them away.  If you are like me and always wanted a kindle but don't want to pay for one, now is your chance to get one.  The rules to this contest are simple.

Rules:

1. Tweet, facebook, blog, and tell your friends about this contest.
2. Comment below telling how many times and where you posted, talked about, and linked to the contest
     ex. I tweeted 4 times, told 2 friends, and posted the contest on facebook
3. The person who does the most to spread the word about this contest will win a free kindle.
4. In the event of a tie, I will give a way 2 kindles
5. In the event of a three way or greater tie, I will draw names.
6. Winners will be announced on May 23, 2011.

So spread the word and you will get a free kindle this month!  Help me celebrate having a new book out and having the amazing power of electricity!  If you are interested in buying Death's Dream Kingdom and helping me celebrate, you can click on the link below.  Also,  I give extra points to people who buy the book :).

Buy Death's Dream Kingdom Now!